STAY ON TOP. Facebook doesn’t let you do that. Now.
Politicians singing is great entertainment.
I tried it with tomato, burning salad in my throat!
to death, but not dying, it is like. Recurring feeling of loneliness (NOT aloneness).
A series of half-fuck attempts at connecting, like a defective USB cable.
(am I doing this right?)
It has been almost 1 year since my life was forcefully disrupted. Every though it has been a year, you still hate it as much as the first day. Fuck up your live literally (if you’re a girl) like that ex stepfather of yours that raped you when you were 14.
This NS thing. Fucking waste of time. I hate it so much.
As seen from the cult classic, “Office Space”.
You can actually buy it online..
Want a free paperweight? Here’s how I got mine.
Back in 03, when I was still a teenager, I had a girlfriend. Sadly, sex education wasn’t all the rage back in the day, and I knew nuts about condoms. I didn’t know such things existed. My friends told me to use tiny plastic bags, but they hurt and always tore, pathetic.
After a few weeks of raging passion, we got caught in the act by the girl’s mother. Needless to say, there was a big brouhaha (yes this is a word) and everyone was wondering how the hell can such 2 innocent little kids be even getting it on. Her brother got so pissed off, he told me he wished I was 30 years older. That way, I would be sent to jail.
My girl-pal-sex-friend person took a pregnancy test (administered by her mother) and found out that she was positive. At night, my girlfriend came to me crying about the abortion she had to go through the next day, so I told her to close her eyes. With unmatched dexterity I shoved my hands into her neither regions, past her panties, and deep into the abyss. When I was done, she didn’t need to go for an abortion anymore.
I didn’t dump the fetus like any other heartless jerk, but instead I put him in a glass jar filled with sugar-water, and hid it in a safe place. A few days ago though (I’m 32 now) I needed a paperweight. I decided to stop hiding Junior and brought him to work. Whenever my teenage clients (I’m a secondary school counselor) talk to me about pre-marital sex, I introduce them to my ‘dead fetus paperweight’.
My precious son.
(Note: Whatever Singaporean sex education organization should print fliers with this story and give them away with “dead fetus in a jar” keychain. Much better than trying too hard to be lewd and cool.)
Wow, I didn’t know that high velocity collisions result in bloody people!
Sarcasm aside, it is a really good video. Because it is realistic.
The part where souls float up, and the person wearing the seat belt got stuck is smart and corny though. LOL
I feel that I think too much. But I probably think I think too much. I I I I I.
… I feel unmotivated.
Does anyone tweet (is that the correct word?) on their phones in real life? I don’t know anyone that does, but a lot of people do, and it probably would be like this.
What’s long and hard? A gearstick of course, what were you thinking? Wait, what?
Stupid lame smart-ass quips like these were being belted out at Seletar camp on Friday (17th July). Proudly brought to you by the SAF and HPB (Health Promotion Board?). Went there because there was a large running event. I didn’t participate of course..
As if NSFs lives were not pathetic enough, there was mandatory belting that day. By who? The DOUBLE F sisters of course. Consisting of non other than BIG F and SMALL F. They brought long and hard cucumbers along and asked for daring (or rather, stupid people, who cave in to peer pressure) NSFs to go on stage to compete. In a game of “See who can put a condom on and off a long and hard cucumber the fastest”. Stop looking at me like that.
Have you ever had these types of educational talks before? The performers??? always go out of their way to be controversial and cool, but always end up cheesy and lame. //censor off// It’s so fucking retarded, because in order for people to heed advice that are so damn lame, the target audience must belong to 2 subsets of NSFs that are worlds apart.
1. They must be naive, stupid or never played any childrens’ toys before to not know HOW TO PUT ON A CONDOM
2. They must be a frequent flyer in the world of sex
3. They must be some super sheltered kid living in their parent’s basement
Wow, 3 subsets actually. HPB should open their eyes. Who the hell ever listens to such talks? For example, “Say no to smoking”. People either choose not to smoke because it’s a turnoff, or because it’s logical to not smoke, or they smoke and enjoy it.
A lot of regulars were sneering and making fun of the talkers??? in the background. When they say stuff like, (not exact quote, I forgot) “Girls are so faithful (so you must protect them by wearing a condom)” I shouted, “Lies!!!”. So on and so forth. The army regulars were more direct and colorful with their retorts though.
These girls were subject to verbal/unspoken abuse by hundreds of people, but they probably enjoy their job. Double standard. I would like to see male talkers??? go to all girls school and talk about the pill, or tampons or something, using the same crude sexual appeal. Guys like sex but that doesn’t mean they don’t have a brain.
Another thought that went through my mind was that, since these girls get cursed and sweared at all the time, and they haven’t died yet, it proves that cursing and swearing at other people behind their backs are ineffective means of revenge.
Bought this to play Street Fighter IV. I currently play worse than any 10 year old in an arcade.
