The previous Tuesday, I only had 3+1hours of sleep. I fell asleep at around 5am (long day). At 8am the noise of old men shouting and vehicles running woke me up. Then I slept for another hour, till 9.

At around noon, the course went to take a course photo. You know how after such photos, you have to write your name on slips of paper? The front few people in my row were feeling playful. They appended stupid things to their names, example:

1. Name A 2012
2. Name B The World
3. Name C Will
4. Name D End
5. Name E Hahahahah

When it was my turn, I was shocked at the sheer stupidity and retardation I saw on the piece of paper. (Really, not just trying to use big words.) The bunch of people (more Malays than Chinese) asked me to quickly write my name too. I guess from my expression or what I said, they saw that I was not amused. Being nice, they told me it’s ok if I don’t want to join in, to “just write your name”.

I paused for a second to decide if I should just speak my mind. When I opened it, I said something like “no no no, this whole thing needs to be redone” to the whole group, while turning away, about to get a new piece of paper. There was an uproar. I wrote my name and passed it on. Later, when walking back to the training shed to continue cleaning sar 21, someone shouted, “Join in the fun, don’t spoil the fun!” in a very typical “beng” or “mat” way.

Before reaching the training shed, I helped out with moving some long wooden poles. Someone nearly hit a Malay guy next to me, and I said, “Dangerous”, because that’s what another person would have said, and because looking at someone without saying anything probably makes people uncomfortable. I got “shut the fuck up” as a reward for my compliance to normality. Later, when the same guy? Walked past me, it coincided with “mother fucker”.

Later, in the air conditioned room we use as a rest area, a group of mostly Malay trainees were talking about me (I know, because they always talk so fucking loudly). I was listening to music and I could still hear them. They taunted me, trying to get a response. If any of you fun-loving guys read this, yes I heard you. But you won’t get a response out of me by primary school level taunting.

Note: I do have a few Malay trainee friends. The fun-loving Malays here are not the villains of this entry. My willingness to tell off a whole group of people, alone, must hit a very raw nerve. I can only blame my straightforwardness.

Stare at the dot. Nice optical trick.

Nerina Pallot, very nice voice.

Real Late Starter

This song puts into words some of the things I feel sometimes.
Real Late Starter
“I woke up late today
Actually I do that everyday
Got no place to be seen
I’m not part of a scene
I’m a genius loser
Keeping counsel with my own opinion
President of the state that I’m in
Should I just stay in bed?
Should I live in my head?
Oh God, so many questions to ask”

Benny Benassi, DJ, Electro house genre.

Satisfaction(song that made him popular)

Who’s your daddy

You are close minded. I am making a sweeping statement.

Most people claim to be open minded. But they are not really. I guess it is just politically correct to say so.

“Hi, my name is Veridis and I’m close minded.”

I think being understanding is one of the results of the truly open minded.
This week, most our dinners at the cookhouse were delayed. We had to wait for them to prepare the food. They were not expecting us, even on Thursday. Lol, seriously? While we were having dinner on Friday, a civilian, probably the cookhouse supervisor or something, came and apologized for the screw ups this week. One of my bunk mates then started mocking her. I told him that his view was very one sided. That the lady is already saying sorry. He started giving a few examples to validate his view, like, “If you screw up during a parade, you think saying sorry to the Sergeant Major will help?” I tried to tell him that his example was extreme, and the others at the table then started to say things like “fight fight” and “relax”.

I often forget that when people do table talk, they expect everyone to agree with them (I don’t say I’m not guilty of this). Having someone disagree must be a surprise. I’m not angry at this bunk mate of mine, he is not someone I hate or dislike. I just feel jaded every time I try to get people to see the other side, and fail.

Rewind back a day or two, in the car park where we were learning operator level mechanic skills for land rover, Iveco 3Ton and MAN 5Ton, an Indian mechanic gave us a rubbish bag to put rubbish in, because they were having an audit soon and the place needed to be clean. The area I was in had virtually no rubbish. I was chilling out with my buddy, and I kept trying to dump the empty rubbish bag on him. I saw an opening (literally) when he put one had on his hip, and so proceeded to stuff the bag in. He then turned around and dunked it into the rubbish bin behind him. The mechanic saw this from a distance, then started storming over. He started to scold us, and I tried to explain that we were just joking. He said something along the lines of

“I don’t care, no joking is allowed. You people only know how to sleep and litter the place.”

“Sir, when you were not here we picked up some rubbish already.” (Only 1 broken Clorets container, there wasn’t any other rubbish to be seen.)

He started to walk away and shouted “I don’t give a fuck what you have to say, (bla bla bla).”

“Sir, you can’t be like this, sir.”

Later, he returned with some of my friends, dumping their dust pans. I went to confront him again, and asked if he needed me to clean other areas. He said it was ok. That the smoking point was messy and we didn’t know how to clean it. (Wtf, I don’t smoke and I don’t know which smoking point he was talking about, I knew of none nearby.) As he walked away, he told me “No hard feelings”. I don’t know if he meant it, but at least he said that. I can understand his predicament, but there was no reason to refuse to reason, when confronted.

In his mind, I am probably a “useless” poly student who only knows how to laze around. But I’m not a lazy poly student. I participate when my mechanic instructor teaches us (hands on). I ask questions. I answer questions. (most of the time I answer correctly, and ask questions the instructor is waiting for). I hate it when people are close minded like that.

I’m proud of myself for standing up to a much older and senior personnel. People always laugh when I tell them that I’m the most introverted of all personalities, because I can talk a lot in topics which interests me, and because I don’t take bullshit from others. It was very awkward to talk back to someone of higher status, especially in the Army. I suggest you try it sometime.

On another note, my follow trainees keep saying I look like a secondary school kid. With jokes like, “Do you have a brother?” (no) “Oh I thought you were serving NS for your brother.” I can just curse the container that holds my mind. I’m sure if I was more physically intimidating, some people would buckle under the combination of my personality as well.

I have a feeling that most people are disturbed at my calmness. People do or say stupid things to me for no apparent reason. I think this so, because only people that know me at least as a friend or acquaintance throw pebbles. Only people that have seen the pond throw pebbles.

I feel emotions very strongly (can’t say others don’t, I have no proof of it. However, if others don’t mask their emotions as much as I, and react in more friendly manner, it is safe to assume that I can extrapolate). However, these strong feelings are rarely transmitted.

For example, throwing water while I’m in a cubicle. I’ve had this happen once, only that I was gonna shower. Making a person who is about to shower wet is obviously pebble throwing. My first reaction was to beat up the fucker that did it.

A much more recent incident, my NS buddy asked to take a look at my mars bar. To look at ingredients. Very strange. I was like, “you can’t be serious”. But I was reassured that he just wanted to take a look. A few moments later, the mars bar was on my table, but it was bent in half. The emotion I felt when I first realized I was tricked, was of very strong hate and betrayal.

Most of the time, after an relentless assault/analysis of the pebble thrower’s thoughts and actions, they tell me to relax. Not to be serious. Not that this is an unreasonable request by the way, but it’s the same as me asking the pebble thrower to man up, and take my assault head-on. I am quite good at getting into people’s minds, and I easily can tell if people are just talking bullshit just to make me prove myself for no reason. (Example: 1. Guy likes to talk so rationally and thoroughly 2. I will talk bullshit to get him to explain himself even though I don’t actually need an explanation.) Another favorite people like to do is to pretend to talk logically to trick me, but I won’t be manipulated. I am not a robot. Once you take the logic route, you’re playing in my arena.

If I were to be like that, I won’t be a friendly person at all. But I only go all out at people in NS, or people that can take it.

This is not black and white, just as life is not black and white. I’m not implying that I don’t throw pebbles too.

Maybe people just use me for their pebble throwing kicks. Just like how couples use each other, but for other more admirable emotions.
Maybe most people just have a fetish for ripples.
Maybe a tsunami will come from a small pebble if thrown hard enough.

21st birthday is coming. I don’t seem myself enjoying a big birthday bash at all. Maybe for 30mins, but after that it gets real tiring and energy draining.

This would make a great birthday present though.

G25 with WheelStandPro

It’s a stand with the Logitech G25. I want to get something like that but with the G27. It costs a bomb, but sure is hell a lot cheaper than zhnging your car!

Maybe you could buy me the stand.. XD

Did I? I didn’t? No wai!

I’ve been using Windows 7 for the last month. It’s good. Real good.

Most of the EYE CANDY OMG SWEET.. Ahem. Most of the eye candy, can be done by tweaking windows and shit. You need to have the free time of a billionaire retiree and a PhD in Computer science for that though. And you still won’t get what Win7 gives you.

Windows feel really smooth now. I feel as though my pc is new again.

First off, wallpapers. I always thought, “hey wouldn’t it be awesome if there was a random wallpaper everytime I switched on my pc?” There are programs for that, but win7 does it off the bat. Here’s my wallpaper. (One of them)

I love having only 1 icon. Also, I’ve opened (and minmized) a few programs, but they don’t make the taskbar look cluttered and full! Quicklaunch icons becomes the program’s window button when opened. No need for quicklaunch toolbar anymore.

These are all my wallpapers. Set them to change every 10mins.

One of the handy features, you can maximize windows by dragging them to the top, or make them occupy the left half by going to the left, and same for the right. Makes it really easy to quickly compare to windows side by side!

All those of you who are using old laptops, I’ve installed it on my 3 year old “Designed for winxp” laptop, and it’s flawless. If you’re using a pc/laptop that is 64bit, I can tell you that 64bit is problem free too.

You saw it here! On the.. my blog.

More of a swap actually. Bought a 500GB 2.5″ portable hard disk. Was not sure if I knew how to swap it, but who cares? I’ll try, it’s probably like Lego.

500GB hdd =O

Disassembled. The portable case didn’t have any screws at all, really painless. The orange chip is what converts SATA to USB, it’s so small =O

Swapped! 3 year old laptop with 500GB hard disk space. Runs windows 7 too! Gonna use it till it dies. D:

Gave the 100GB to my sister, she needed it o.o

is like a party, without the people.

I don’t know what’s up with people and one-liners. These days one liners are no longer jokes. I blame facebook. (I also think it caused the 2008 financial meltdown, but that is off-topic.) Frankly, if I’m feeling like shit (happens at least every fortnight) I’ll be more pleased with coming up with a thesis about why the world is fucked up, than just wondering why the world is so. Doesn’t cheer me up though, cause even if you solved the mystery of how/who killed your parents, you’re still an orphan. But still, I come here and type crap.

It is also customary in such posts to have vague, ambiguous references to events or people. The writer then controls the level of information the reader needs to already know before they can decipher the convoluted message. Access level protection for their post. I pity the people that don’t know WTF is going on. Example. Today I asked her a few questions that got rid of some questionmarks. People tell me closure is good, but in this case, it sucked as well. The last 2 sentences is the whole reason for this entry.

Sometimes I type bullshit, or mix it up with my real thoughts, wonder if people can guess which is which.

I sure hope my posts are brain-draining enough to spoil any attempt at 5 second skimming. XD

Lastly, damn wordpress for disabling javascript and not implementing a chatbox widget. I can’t tell when people like my posts. Especially the dead fetus paperweight one, I spent 10minutes typing/thinking about it. It surely is worth 1 or 2 disgusted visitors!

STAY ON TOP. Facebook doesn’t let you do that. Now.

Politicians singing is great entertainment.

I tried it with tomato, burning salad in my throat!