Throwing pebbles into the pond
I have a feeling that most people are disturbed at my calmness. People do or say stupid things to me for no apparent reason. I think this so, because only people that know me at least as a friend or acquaintance throw pebbles. Only people that have seen the pond throw pebbles.
I feel emotions very strongly (can’t say others don’t, I have no proof of it. However, if others don’t mask their emotions as much as I, and react in more friendly manner, it is safe to assume that I can extrapolate). However, these strong feelings are rarely transmitted.
For example, throwing water while I’m in a cubicle. I’ve had this happen once, only that I was gonna shower. Making a person who is about to shower wet is obviously pebble throwing. My first reaction was to beat up the fucker that did it.
A much more recent incident, my NS buddy asked to take a look at my mars bar. To look at ingredients. Very strange. I was like, “you can’t be serious”. But I was reassured that he just wanted to take a look. A few moments later, the mars bar was on my table, but it was bent in half. The emotion I felt when I first realized I was tricked, was of very strong hate and betrayal.
Most of the time, after an relentless assault/analysis of the pebble thrower’s thoughts and actions, they tell me to relax. Not to be serious. Not that this is an unreasonable request by the way, but it’s the same as me asking the pebble thrower to man up, and take my assault head-on. I am quite good at getting into people’s minds, and I easily can tell if people are just talking bullshit just to make me prove myself for no reason. (Example: 1. Guy likes to talk so rationally and thoroughly 2. I will talk bullshit to get him to explain himself even though I don’t actually need an explanation.) Another favorite people like to do is to pretend to talk logically to trick me, but I won’t be manipulated. I am not a robot. Once you take the logic route, you’re playing in my arena.
If I were to be like that, I won’t be a friendly person at all. But I only go all out at people in NS, or people that can take it.
This is not black and white, just as life is not black and white. I’m not implying that I don’t throw pebbles too.
Maybe people just use me for their pebble throwing kicks. Just like how couples use each other, but for other more admirable emotions.
Maybe most people just have a fetish for ripples.
Maybe a tsunami will come from a small pebble if thrown hard enough.
